Everyone in the poker world is familiar with terms that compare players to animals. Such terms as "donkey" or "fish" are often used to describe weak players that serve no purpose other than to give up their money or be taken advantage of. Well we have put together a complete list of poker animals for you to reference against positive and negative players. This can be a very helpful grading scale especially if you use the notes section in online play. For instance, if you notated a player as an "octopus" you would then remember certain aspects such as he plays too many hands but can be dangerous at times.

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HUMAN- OK we know we kind of cheated on this one but we had to give a little recognition to our own species. Human beings in poker as in real life are at the top of the food chain. There is a reason for this because humans are the most intelligent living creatures on the planet because of our thought process. Think about it... humans are not the fastest, strongest, or biggest species on earth but we are the smartest. Although we might never stand a chance in a fight with an elephant we are smart enough to build a gun that can stop the elephant with one shot or build a vehicle that can outrun the elephant. More than likely any humans in the poker world will be playing in very high stakes games or large buy-in tournaments. One note about humans they will typically have more trouble against weak players than against strong players. Back to Poker Animals Chart

ELEPHANT- They are big, they are strong, and they are extremely powerful. They are also extremely dangerous to mess with mostly because of their size and how they use it. In nature an elephant attacks it's prey by ramming its head or foot down on its victims until it is lifeless. This is true for poker elephants as well. They have deep stacks or superior knowledge and they will lean on you until you are crushed. If you are not equally matched try to avoid playing with them if possible. Back to Poker Animals Chart

GORILLA- Being the most powerful of all living primates and extreme intelligence make the gorilla a force to be reckoned with in the wild. This is true also on the poker table. A poker gorilla will be strong and intelligent and will probably try to trap you or just overpower you. One thing to remember- do not get a gorilla and a chimp confused. A chimp might be able to poke at you a little, but a gorilla will flat out kick your ass. You should avoid playing against a gorilla unless you are of at least equal skill level. Back to Poker Animals Chart

SHARK- By now anyone that has ever played poker has heard this expression. In poker it refers to the way Sharks feed on fish (a weaker player). Sharks are ferocious and can destroy your stack in almost no time at all. They are typically very aggressive and have a natural killer instinct. Typically sharks are not very friendly poker players, they are very focused on winning, winning, winning and taking every advantage they are given. Beware of there aggression. Back to Poker Animals Chart

FALCON-  This feared bird on our list is one of the most vicious and aggressive of all birds. The falcon is known for its swiftness and its clever way of attacking. In nature a falcon can dive down on it's unsuspecting prey at over 215 mph (WOW) killing it instantly. A poker falcon will do the same. You may not even notice them in a game. They may play a little deceptive at first, picking up an occasional pot here or there and then all of a sudden..... WHAM you are all-in with second best hand against them. This is because poker falcons know how to bait you in and leverage the important intangibles against you. Look for falcons to play strong position and beat up on small stacks. The real danger of a poker falcon is that the average player will encounter falcons more often than sharks, gorillas, and elephants. Typically there are two or three falcons for every poker room. Spot them and avoid them. They will typically be mopping up at the $10/$20 limit game or playing in some type of regional poker tournaments looking to make a score. Back to Poker Animals Chart

JAGUAR- The jaguar is the largest cat in the Western Hemisphere and one of most powerful. In nature a jaguar hunts differently than most other cats. It prowls on the ground, in trees, and in water waiting for the right opportunity to ambush its prey. One of the differences of the jaguar from other cats is when it attacks it pierces and crushes the skull of it's prey. The same is true for a poker jaguar. They will wait until they have you where they want you and then completely crush your stack. They prowl poker rooms and local tourney or home games looking to make money. You will encounter jaguars on a regular basis but if you learn how to play against them you will sometimes come out on the winning side of the matches. Back to Poker Animals Chart

TURKEY- I know your first thoughts are "Turkey, how can that be good?". I am not talking about the fat bird that ends up on tables on Thanksgiving, I am talking about a natural wild turkey. Believe it or not the turkey is very clever and has a wide field of vision. In nature this makes it almost impossible to sneak up or trap turkeys. This is true in the poker world as well. In poker a turkey is someone that is usually transitioning from an emotional player to a thinking player. They will be very cautious and think about every move. In nature turkeys only eat live prey. Poker turkeys are similar, they only play when there is money to be made and don't make bad decisions like betting into dead pots. Poker turkeys are typically on the profitable side of poker but not big profits. The turkey is the last of the positive poker animals. They can also get aggressive when necessary. Turkey fact: Benjamin Franklin lobbied heavily to make the turkey the national bird because he felt the eagle was a coward compared to the turkey. Back to Poker Animals Chart

CHIMP- The chimp is the first of the negative poker animals. A chimp is an animal that has a degree of intelligence that makes them trainable. If you have ever seen a chimp in a test you understand their level of intelligence and how it is manipulated. Often times a chimp can make a correct decision one time and incorrect decision the next. That is exactly how poker chimps operate. They may know the correct move but they don't always make the correct decision. Poker chimps are usually emotional players that are on their way to being thinking players. Poker chimps can be fun and challenging to play against but you should be careful because they do have some poker skill. Back to Poker Animals Chart

OCTOPUS- In the wild an octopus is  unique in the sense that it has eight or more arms, which is more than the average animal. In poker an octopus is someone that plays entirely too many hands. An octopus can be very dangerous because they play weak or marginal cards that can match the board and surprise you. They may also be aggressive at times but it is usually not controlled or used correctly. An octopus will typically play cards like K4, Q6 or other ridiculous hands. Back to Poker Animals Chart

BAT- I am sure that you have heard the old expression "Blind as a Bat". In poker a bat is someone who is blind to everything except their hand. They don't realize things like the card that gives them a straight gives someone else a flush. This makes them almost impossible to bluff because they don't know when to fold. They don't think about anything outside of their hand and how it fits the board. Bats are likely to suck out on you more than the average player because they are always drawing. Back to Poker Animals Chart

HOG- In nature a hog is known as a greedy animal. In poker this is true also. In poker a hog is a player that is so "greedy" to win more money they will often jeopardize the pot and lose. Moves such as check-raising or slow playing at the wrong time will often cost them way more in the long run. Hogs don't play by the golden rule- When the pot gets big, your main goal is to win- not play for extra bets. Its best to just take it down, while you can. There is an old saying "Pigs get fed, Hogs get slaughtered". If you are up against a poker hog, you should make them pay for trying to steal from you. Back to Poker Animals Chart

FISH- In poker we have all heard the term "fish". It refers to the way players are vulnerable to better players. It is suppose to mean that if you are a fish you will get eaten by a shark. Fish are annoying to play against because they usually give their money to real opponents, making your goal of winning money much tougher. Try to avoid playing with fish unless you are looking for pleasure poker or you want to play simple poker. Fish often don't know what they are doing so your moves probably will not work against them. Back to Poker Animals Chart

DONKEY- In nature a donkey is known as stubborn and stupid animals. In poker a donkey is someone that has no real purpose at the poker table. Poker donkeys are usually stubborn and stupid in the way that they continuously make bad plays. Often times they will mess up good games and keep real players out of the game. A donkey will often get lucky and take some of your chips only to make dumb "jackass" moves and lose them to your opponent. A donkey has almost no poker intelligence and should be avoided. Back to Poker Animals Chart

GOAT- In poker a goat is the lowest animal on the food chain. In nature a goat has a reputation for eating anything even garbage. In poker a goat is known for playing any garbage and trying to rationalize it. We have all seen players that play cards like 4-7 or 3-6 and then say something like they had a feeling or it's there favorite hand. Players like this are terrible and only get in the way of real play. A goat plays with anything, calls everything, and wins nothing. Goats are easy marks but an annoyance to play against. I would prefer to play against an elephant than a goat because you really have to "dumb down" your game to play a goat. At least elephants help you grow in your poker knowledge. If I go to a table that only has donkeys and goats.....I find another table. Back to Poker Animals Chart

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